Recently, Scary Mommy has posted two different articles that deal with mom wars. One is from the perspective of a working mom. She shares the things that she wants a stay-at-home-mom to know about working moms. You can read about it here. The second post was written by a stay-at-home-mom in response to the first. You can read that one here.
My “open letter” to the working mom and the SAHM
Both of the aforementioned articles had some good points and their authors had their hearts in the right place. But really, why is this even a thing? As mothers we talk about the mommy wars and how we need to stop them, but then we write and share articles that talk about it. This just perpetuates the problem. While I think it’s good to try and understand other people’s perspective, I think we’ve taken the differences in motherhood to an extreme. Everyone has an opinion and we feel the need to push our opinion on others. Or we get offended when others disagree with us.
Here’s the deal. We’re all mamas, trying to the best we can for our families. We all have our own ideas and opinions on parenting. So let’s just accept that and move on.
I’m a SAHM. I breast fed exclusively for eleven months before switching to formula and then whole milk. I stopped nursing because I was getting mastitis…again. And I just couldn’t stand to do it anymore. I don’t like spanking as a form of discipline. I choose to vaccinate. Those stretch marks that look like a road map on my stomach…and thighs….and boobs? Yeah, not a fan. I love bedtime…for both my kids and myself. I am mormon, I like to listen to classical music when I’m stressed and I have never voted republican but am very conservative in my personal decisions. These are things that are distinct to me. These things make me, me.
It boils down to respect and kindness
The fact is, some people will love me and my ideals and personality. And some people won’t. And I’m okay with that. Because truthfully, I don’t like everyone I meet. And that has nothing to do with if you stay at home or work. It has much more to do with whether we can laugh at the same things and such. However, even if I don’t like someone, I still treat them with respect. And I expect the same in return. So, when it comes to motherhood, I think we need to just stop. Stop judging, stop talking about the judging, and just be ourselves. If we can all just worry about ourselves and surround ourselves with people who lift us up, then we can all have the fullness and joy that we want in life.
So, my challenge to all you mamas out there is this….be yourself and be nice. Don’t judge. Don’t get offend when someone is different than you. Don’t be a part of the problem. Be the person that moves forward and stops these mommy wars. You can do it, I promise!
Until next time,